I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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