We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
