You can't special order awesome
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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