Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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