she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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