We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
