If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
