Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
