Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
