oh god the rape fog is back!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
