he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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