but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
