It's like a parade of train wrecks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
