why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
