I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
