I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
