One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
