smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
