I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
