what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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