This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
