I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
