Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
