I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
