I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
