how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
