you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
