It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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