You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
