The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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