Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
