I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
