it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
