I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
