Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
whose ass print is on the piano?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
