I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
