hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
