Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
