I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
