Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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