Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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