Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm getting married
To pizza
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
