Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
