Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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