i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Randomize
