Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
