redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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