babies were throwing up all over the place
this just has baby written all over it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize