I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The Olympian is in my bed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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