Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
