I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
