the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
