He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
