super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
